Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
