got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
