I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
