I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
