This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
