How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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