I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
