He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
