The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
