Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
