PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
