I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
