Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
