At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
