I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
