Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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