I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
