OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
