oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
