She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
