thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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