I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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