before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
