Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
