She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
