I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
