how can u be prego again
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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