I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
