Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
