You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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