And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
