Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
