he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
