we have pet lesbian snakes
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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