Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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