I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
