holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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