if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
