i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
