a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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