Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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