We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
