I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
