And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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