what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
