Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
