SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
