We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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