I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
