I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
