VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
