yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
