I'm jealous of your bromance
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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